


Steven University - Don't Bring Me Down, Down, Down

by Stormbadger



Series: Steven University [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, it all works out in the end though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-08 00:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4283985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormbadger/pseuds/Stormbadger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot thinks that Jasper's relationship with Lapis isn't working so smoothly and wants her friends to be happy again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steven University - Don't Bring Me Down, Down, Down

**Author's Note:**

> Set before the previous one-shot in this series.
> 
> Also contains heavy references to abusive relationships, though it's resolved at the end. If that isn't your cup of tea, then this fic probably won't be for you.

Peridot didn't like it when her curiosity got the better of her, but here she was, looking through Jasper's phone at the texts she had been sending.

Jasper had been going out for Lapis for about six months now, and recently she hadn't seen much of her. When Jasper wasn't with Lapis, she was either at the gym, or she was studying, or she was on her own and didn't respond to anyone knocking on her door unless it was her girlfriend.

When Peridot and Jasper did speak, Jasper was usually short with her and barely spoke more than a few words, and became downright hostile when Lapis was nearby. She hadn't thought much of it at first, but it had gotten worse, and Jasper wasn't acting like her usual self. Something was happening with her friends, and she had wanted to know what it was.

Looking at the texts between Lapis and Jasper, she wasn't so sure she wanted to know any more. It was true, Peridot didn't have much experience with relationships outside of ones in computer RPGs, but this was just... unsettling. The most recent texts didn't help.

**Lapis 7:30 AM**   
_Wake up, I want some coffee_

**Jasper 7:30 AM**   
_sure but im broke_

**Lapis 7:31 AM**   
_We have coffee at our place, use that_

**Lapis 7:31 AM**   
_And don't fuck it up this time_

**Jasper 7:32 AM**   
_okay_

**Jasper 7:34 AM**   
_btw i gotta study for my exam_

**Jasper 7:35 AM**   
_rly important_

**Lapis 7:35 AM**   
_We have a date today, study later_

**Jasper 7:50 AM**   
_k_

**Lapis 7:50 AM**   
_Took your time_

**Jasper 7:53 AM**   
_i was scheduling_

**Lapis 7:54 AM**   
_I do the scheduling here_

**Lapis 8:02 AM**   
_I need a backrub_

**Lapis 10:30 AM**   
_I'll be out for an hour then we're going on a date_

**Jasper**   
_kk_

Peridot sighed, rubbing her forehead with her artificial hand. Jasper was supposed to be heading out in all of five minutes, and she could hear the shower her friend was taking shut off.

She really should do something about it. Jasper was suffering, and Lapis wasn't looking so happy either - even by her standards.

She heard footfalls and put the phone on the bench where she left it. Jasper walked out, yawning as she rubbed a towel over her hair. She only gave Peridot a glance and a nod before she tossed the towel to the side and entered her room, returning in her fanciest clothes. They weren't much, but they at least made her look decent, if not a little uncomfortable.

"Jasper?" Peridot spoke, as Jasper walked by.

"Want something?" Jasper said distractedly as she looked in a mirror, combing her hair to little effect.

Peridot took a deep breath in and out. "I had a look through your phone."

Jasper paused, then turned on the small girl and glared at her. "You did _what?!_ "

Peridot held out the phone, letting Jasper snatch it from her. "I'm sorry, but we need to talk about something."

"Can it wait?" Jasper growled, turning back to the mirror as she stuffed the phone in her pocket. "I'm getting ready for Lapis."

"That's what I want to talk about," Peridot said hesitantly. "You and Lapis."

"We're doing fine, we're happy." Jasper walked off to the bathroom. Peridot followed. "There's nothing to discuss."

"Yes there is." Peridot said, leaning against the door frame as Jasper applied some eyeliner. "Lapis doesn't seem to be treating you with respect."

"What the hell do you know?" Jasper retorted. "You've never been with anyone."

"Aside from Lapis, neither have you," Peridot commented. "But I do know that she's treating you like a slave."

"She's not. She does all the organising and I do my part to help. It's mutual."

"Hardly," Peridot scoffed. "She isn't treating you with respect, or even like a real person. Hell, I don't need to snoop on your phone to see that."

"As if. She loves me, I love her."

"Does she love you, or being with you?"

"Both."

"Does she give you your own time?"

"What do you think I do when I'm not around her, shortstack?"

Peridot sighed. "What I mean is, does she give you time to do things that are important to you? Like studying?"

"I've been studying since she's gotten out, obviously."

"She didn't seem to think your academic success was important."

"It isn't to me." Jasper stepped out, looking admittedly rather nicely done up, though obviously not too impressed. She made a line to the couch and sat on it. "Why should it be to her?"

"Because you still want to pass, right?" Peridot again followed, taking a seat on the tattered armchair facing Jasper.

"Yeah, and I will."

"With forty-five minutes of study? I don't think so."

"Hey, I'm smart, I can manage."

"Jasper," Peridot sighed, leaning back and rubbing her forehead again, "you actively admit you're an idiot almost every day. Or, well, you did, until..."

"Until what?" Jasper's voice remained level, neither hostile nor curious.

"Until," Peridot continued, "you and I stopped hanging out."

"We hang out." Jasper folded her arms.

"No, we don't." Peridot leaned forward, looking right at Jasper. "We haven't gone to see a movie or played any games for two months, and they're supposed to be _fortnightly_ things, at least."

Jasper scoffed and glanced away from Peridot. "I haven't had the time, I've been studyin-"

"Every time I even suggest it, you tell me Lapis probably has something planned and you don't want to upset her. You don't just cancel an already-made plan because your girlfriend _might_ have something she wants to do she hasn't told you about yet."

"Well-"

"And you don't want to upset her? Does she even know I'm your friend? Does she give you any time for anyone else except her that you _don't_ use for yourself?"

Jasper's frown deepened, her eyes moving back to glare at her. "If you're suggesting I break up with her, then no. I don't want to hurt her any more."

"Jasper, you clod!" Peridot shouted, throwing her arms wide. "You and Lapis are losing yourselves! Until you started dating she was friendly and funny and talented, and you were confident and didn't need to wait on anyone!" She pointed at Jasper, forcing the larger woman to look at her. "I don't care if Lapis has a rough childhood or bad experiences with other boyfriends or whatever the fuck else happened to her that she's using to guilt trip you, she's hurting you!"

Jasper stood up, grabbing Peridot by the collar and pulling her up to her eye level. "Shut the fuck up, Peri! You don't know anything about Lapis and me!"

Peridot didn't flinch, only narrowed her eyes. "All I know is that you two are bad for each other. You were better as friends."

Jasper's breathing became heavier, and she dropped Peridot. The door opened, and immediately Jasper straightened up. Peridot just sighed and fell back down to the armchair.

Lapis walked in, already looking quite well dressed, though her face didn't seem to match the joviality her outfit was bringing. "Jasper, there you are. Let's go."

"Coming." Jasper said with only the vaguest hint of hesitation before walking out with Lapis, leaving Peridot to curse loudly and put on something easy to play, violent and therapeutic.

* * *

Jasper didn't want to admit it, but something about what Peridot said was starting to ring true. There was something about Lapis that didn't seem to sit well today.

No, it was probably nothing. Lapis loved her, and she loved Lapis back.

But, she did seem pretty heartless sometimes. Jasper did have a lot of studying to do if she wanted to pass this course. Plus, she really wasn't spending much time with Peridot. In fact, any time she looked at anyone else mildly attractive, she would see Lapis with this little scowl that made her panic. Before now, she was worried she was doing something wrong, but now...

All through their date, as Lapis pointed and prodded and asked - no, demanded - Jasper to do something, the large Latina woman kept getting lost in thought. This obviously upset Lapis, and she felt no small pang of guilt over it, but as the day went on she couldn't help but notice the little things.

After dinner, as they were walking back home - Jasper wasn't feeling very hungry and gave the rest of her meal to Lapis - she finally spoke.

"Hey, Lapis."

"Yes?" Lapis looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Can we talk for a bit?"

"We've talked plenty enough tonight," she replied.

"No, I mean... about us."

Lapis froze, looking up at Jasper with wide eyes. Hurt? Maybe. Probably already assuming she was seeing someone behind her back or wanted to break up with her.

"...sure." Lapis said slowly, eyes narrowing. "But make it quick, I want to be home soon."

"Right." Jasper paused for a second, then spoke, the first question coming into her mind with surprising suddenness. "Do you... love me?"

"Of course," Lapis said, then kept walking. A large hand grabbing hers stopped her. "What now?"

"I'm not done. Do you really love me?"

"Of course I do," Lapis sighed.

"Then say it."

Lapis frowned. "Why?"

"I need to hear it," Jasper whispered.

"Fine. I love you."

"Say it like you mean it."

Lapis tried to pull her hand away, but Jasper's grip was too strong. "What are you talking about?"

Jasper, too, began to frown. "I need to hear it for myself."

"Jasper-" another ineffective tug "-you know the answer to that!"

"No I don't." Jasper growled, her grip tightening. "You haven't so much as said anything that sounds genuine tonight, not including your complaining. I need to know if you love me."

"Jasper, let go!" Lapis tried pulling away again. Her eyes were wide now.

"Tell me the truth, Lapis!" Another squeeze with her hand. "Do you love me!"

"Jasper, stop...!"

Jasper took a step forward, grabbing Lapis's chin with her free hand and pulling her close, glaring right into her eyes. "Answer me!"

"You're... hurting me...!" Lapis whimpered.

"You've been hurting me too, Lapis." Jasper's voice was now low and dangerous. "You've been treating me like a fucking slave and telling me what to do and what not to do. To you, I'm just some... puppet for you to play out your fantasies."

Lapis made a small, pained noise, tears forming in her eyes. Any other given day, Jasper would stop and leave it, forget all of what happened.

Not today.

"I loved you, Lapis. I really did. But you've put out any fire we had, and now I'm not sure." She let go, and Lapis dropped to the ground, breathing heavily, sobbing. "I'm nobody's fucking servant."

She walked off, leaving Lapis behind. The further she walked, the more she felt her freedom return. But the more guilt she felt, too.

* * *

Jasper returned to a home with more people she really wanted there to be. Peridot, she had expected, although she wasn't in the mood for talking to her.

But Garnet was sitting across from her, and her cousin, Amethyst, poked her head out from the kitchen.

Peridot nodded in Jasper's direction. The tall dark-skinned woman turned her head and torso to face her, a hand idly pushing up her glasses. "Jasper, we need to talk to you about-"

"If it's about me and Lapis," Jasper growled, storming down the hall to her room, "then forget it, it's over between us." And the door shut with a prominent bang.

Garnet looked back at Peridot and shrugged. Peridot, meanwhile, just sighed and leaned back on the chair, fingers rubbing her temples.

"I don't think I want to know what happened," she murmured.

"It's probably for the best," Garnet said matter-of-factly. "But at least Jasper's back to normal."

"Let's hope so."

Amethyst leapt over the counter and ran not unlike a cat to the couch, sitting next to Garnet. "Think she'll be okay?"

"Yeah, she will. It'll take a while for things to settle down, but she'll be fine."

"What about Lapis?" Peridot asked. "Will she be okay?"

"Hard to say," Garnet said with a shrug. "She's a little more unpredictable. At worst, they'll hate each other. At best, they'll realise their differences and reach a compromise."

Peridot groaned, then stood up. "I think I'll go get some sleep. You can stay here for a while if you want, just don't eat everything and don't touch anything without my permission, okay?"

"Can we play some Gears of War?" Amethyst asked

"Sure, but let Garnet set it up."

And with that, Peridot went off. Not a few minutes later, the door opened again and in stepped Lapis. Amethyst was about to say something, but the look of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion on Lapis' face made her reconsider otherwise, instead diverting her attention back to the game. Lapis instead staggered off, finding her room and falling down on it, simply staring at nothing for an hour before she fell asleep.

* * *

Lapis' eyes opened, misted over from the sleep. She rubbed at them as she sat up, then looked down at herself. She hadn't bothered to change into anything when she got back.

She put a hand to her forehead and fell back on the bed, sighing. What was the point of getting up? Peridot wasn't going to help, and Jasper...

Jasper had betrayed her, left her in the dark on that cold night, alone and scared. Why had she done so? What did Lapis do to deserve being treated so poorly?

It took her a long while before she came to any sort of realisation. She had deserved it, because that's what she had done to Jasper. Nothing as... extreme, she guessed, but it had been for a while. How long, she couldn't remember, but it must have been for a while.

But why? Why had she treated her like that? Was she being overly attached? Was she trying to prevent any hint of what her previous relationships had ended on? 

She ran through dozens, perhaps hundreds, of recent outings she had had with Jasper. Any time Jasper had looked away from her or spent more than five minutes in the restroom, she became suspicious. Worried. Paranoid she would lose her favourite person.

Lapis had been horrible, she came to realise. She had been pushing Jasper down. Maybe because she wanted something she could have some control in. But Jasper wasn't a toy or machine to satisfy her romantic side, she was a person. Not just that, but a feisty and strong-willed one too. She had to act stronger to make her weaker, and in doing so, she had broken not just Jasper, but herself.

They really didn't work well together.

Slowly, she pulled herself out of bed, got changed into something new, and stepped out. Peridot called out her name for breakfast, but she ignored it as she opened Jasper's bedroom door.

Just as she had expected. Jasper was lying on it, curled on her side like a cat, her hair all over the place. She looked peaceful, almost too peaceful to disturb.

Sighing, she sat on the bed, prompting Jasper to open an eye and focus on her, slowly. Not a word was spoken, nor a glance given. Just the two of them as they were.

Lapis broke the silence. "I... I'm sorry, Jasper. I really didn't..." Her voice caught on a lump in her throat, her body shaking involuntarily as she began to speak again. "I was being awful and I didn't realise it. I-I was so attached to you and wanted something stable and controllable in my life but I... I went too far and just... made things worse for both of us..."

She paused again, taking a moment to suppress her sobs, before she spoke again. "I think... I think we should break up... we're not healthy for each other..."

A hand grabbed her shoulder, prompting her to flinch. She felt it slowly guide her down onto her side, then felt Jasper pull her body up next to her, an arm wrap around her, holding her close.

Not that she wasn't enjoying the warmth, but this was still confusing. "J-Jasper, what are you...?"

"Maybe we should have a break instead of a break-up..." Jasper purred. "We fucked up, but we know what we did wrong and we can fix it."

Lapis was quiet for a while, before she nodded, snuggling back against the larger woman and closing her eyes. "...okay."

"Let's just enjoy this one morning cuddle first, okay?"

"Sure."

Peridot was annoyed that the breakfast she and Amethyst had cooked had gotten cold, but at least Lapis and Jasper seemed to have worked everything out.

Cold bacon wasn't that tasty, though.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm no expert on being in abusive relationships, but I've seen what being in one, and being free of one, can do to someone's psyche, so I drew on that knowledge and my own understanding of psychology for the basis of this.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this story, and lemme know what you think of it!


End file.
